break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
