So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Who died my cat blue again?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
