my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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