Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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