It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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