tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
This is the high leading the old right now
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize