you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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