We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
