I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
