I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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