Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
