its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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