How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
