He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
