it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Randomize
