Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
๐๐๐ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because thatโs some real evil genius.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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