U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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