is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
