nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
