if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Randomize
