I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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