The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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