where does the pee come out of this thing
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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