i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
