I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
