Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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