I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
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