New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
