I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
