so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
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bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
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Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize