Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
