This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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