i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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