Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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