i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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