I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
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The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
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If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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