so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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