This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
