My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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