Having a random hookup so left but love u
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
