I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
