Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
