I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Randomize
