Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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