Yo dont text me then not text me
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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