He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
