Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
There's always time for handjobs
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
