I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Randomize
