One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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