This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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