he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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