He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
