I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
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