But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
