her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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