nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
