the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
