I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
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I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
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But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
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