We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
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I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
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My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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