none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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