There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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