If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize